First and foremost, I want you to understand that having insecurities is completely normal. Everybody has insecurities. What matters is how you deal with them and move past your insecurities. Continue reading to learn more about insecurities and how to overcome them.
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What does it mean to be insecure?
Insecurity is a common problem for many women. It can affect anyone who feels like they don’t measure up to someone else’s standards. Sometimes insecurity comes from comparing yourself to others. You may compare your looks, talents, intelligence, or achievements to those of others. This comparison can lead you to feel insecure if you feel that you aren’t as good as someone else. Other times, you may feel insecure about whether you’ll get a job or promotion. Whatever the reason, insecurity can make women feel bad about themselves.
What Causes Insecurity?
According to this study by the National Bureau of Economic Research, about 80 percent of women experience some form of insecurity. There are several reasons for this, including:
The world we live in today is very insecure. We’re constantly bombarded with messages telling us how we should look, act, dress, talk, think, etc. This insecurity comes from many sources, including family, friends, teachers, media, and even ourselves.
Worries about career.
The most common reason why people quit their jobs is that they don’t feel fulfilled. You may feel undervalued, unappreciated, or even bored. This leads to feelings of insecurity and unhappiness.
Fear of failure or rejection.
Anxious, depressed, and fearful people are more likely to be insecure. You are frequently concerned about making mistakes and being rejected. You may avoid certain situations because you are afraid of being judged by others. These behaviors may cause you to withdraw from others.
How to Overcome Your Insecurities
Insecurities make us feel small, weak, and powerless. They can prevent you from taking risks or speaking up when you want to, and they can turn even the most mundane tasks into full-blown catastrophes. But don’t worry—I’ve got some tips for you! Here are three practical ways to overcome your insecurities:
1. Acknowledge insecurities.
The first step towards overcoming insecurity is to acknowledge that you feel insecure. This may sound simple, but many struggles with this because it’s hard to admit when you are feeling vulnerable. It’s important to remember that everyone feels insecure sometimes. You’re not alone!
2. Speak positively to yourself.
When you are insecure, you are prone to thinking negatively about yourself and your circumstances. This is because we tend to think in black-and-white terms: everything is either all good or all bad. That is why it is critical to be mindful when dealing with these situations; rather than focusing on how bad things are right now with no hope of improvement (which will only make them worse), try putting things into perspective and finding ways out of this.
Some activities you can do to increase positive self-talk:
- Reframe your negative thoughts
- Listen to a positive affirmations playlist
- Surround yourself with positive people
3. Stop comparing yourself to others
Comparisons are harmful for a couple of reasons. For starters, they have the potential to make you feel bad about yourself. Second, they can harm your interpersonal relationships. If you find yourself comparing yourself to others, try to break free by asking yourself the following questions:
- “What exactly am I doing right now?”
- “How would I characterize myself right now?”
- “Am I content with my life?”
- “Do I need to work on anything?”
Need more tips for taking care of yourself? Check out: The 6 Types of Self Care & Why You Should Practice Them All
Final Thoughts on 3 Practical Ways to Overcome Insecurities
We all feel insecure sometimes. It’s part of being human. But if we’re constantly worried about how we look, how smart we are, or whether our friends like us, we’ll never get on top of our problems. Instead, try to accept your imperfections and focus on the things you do well. You can always improve, so why not start today?
Need help reframing your negative thoughts? Download your free worksheet today!
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Exley, C. L., & Kessler, J. B. (2019, October 1). The Gender Gap in Self-Promotion. National Bureau of Economic Research. https://www.nber.org/papers/w26345
I’m not sure I would have ever labelled myself as insecure …until I was an adult. I’m not sure if it is social media that brings about that comparison factor so readily, but I definitely think so much of lack of confidence and even imposter syndrome comes from the false reality we are presented nonstop. I love the three ways you suggested here as a springboard to putting aside insecurities and I think that pausing to question yourself is going to be a great way to combat those feelings when they show up in my world!
Kristina Portella says
Hi Jill! Thank you for your comment. Yes, I used to think being called insecure was terrible and insulting but now as an adult my perspective has definitely changed. Looking forward to seeing your continued growth.